#melania boss

[yourfavoritehouseplant]

Shoutout Fast Woman Boss in a Souls game. Gotta be one of my favorite genders

[stinkrascal]

i finally beat elden ring im literally the elden lord

[cyphyra]

hi i've properly sent 300 runes cy's way this time :] now together with gardenia they can buy a single boiled prawn

yay :) unfortunately Gardenia used her cum-runes to level up her strength again, she's trying to do a 1-handed colossal sword + buckler build c:

[ravens-dagger]

My gay little heart isn't prepared for the fact that the convergence mod has a boss respawn arena. You mean I get to fight Malenia MULTIPLE TIMES IN THE SAME PLAYTHROUGH?!?! 💓💞🤤💕💦

[depvotee]

If I see a Redditors Elden Ring take I'm allowed to have compensation.... In BLOOD!!!

[malwarewolf404]

I see a lot of Elden Ring players on here and elsewhere who feel mad or cheated or robbed that the DLC had nothing to do with Godwyn. And in one hand, yeah I get that, this DLC was so Miquella-focused you’d think we might get something about him, fair, but I think if we did get a Lord-Brother Godwyn and Miquella boss fight like so many people are saying they wanted, well. I think I would feel robbed.

The entire point of Godwyn is that he’s dead. He’s undead. He is One that lives in death. He has become the god of undeath. You cannot bring him back, many thousands have tried, including Miquella by way of some sort of Eclipse ritual (which I personally hope might be expanded upon in a future DLC.) Getting too close to him leads to nothing but blight and decay and death.

Anyways I personally think having Godwyn just show up randomly at the gate of divinity in some sort of twin princes fight would have been so much more out of left field for me. The relationship between Godwyn and Miquella and Melania is talked about in Lore sure, but the Haligtree and Redmanes having such an intimate and storied rivalry, as well as Melania and Radahn themselves, leaves the revelation that Miquella has been waiting for Radahn’s death to reincarnate him and force him to carry out his promise of consortship one way or another is somehow more interesting to me than “oh Miquella finally found a way to bring back Godwyn here at the gate of divinity teehee”.

The entire point of Godwyn is that he is undead. He is the prince of death. He became a pox on the Lands Between, and a tumor on the roots of the Erdtree, unable to be reborn, cursed to live in death. To undo that so simply would be to irreversibly change so much of the game beyond recognition.

[sleeplesssmoll]

I think Vertin might be a tactile person.

Here are examples taken from the voice lines and context clues.  This isn't an all conclusive list of touchy interactions, just what I could find. Someone stop her before she gets hurt. Update: I'm going to keep adding on as we find more interactions together because this is really fun.

Sotheby (hat and hair): Stop it! You can't just touch an adult's head! (She is 13. Vertin probably sees her as a baby and pat her head).

Bette (hands): Ha ha ... They might be a little rough. To tightly grab the eave does require abundant practice. (assuming Vertin is holding her hand. Don’t ask me how we got here.)

Rabies (clothing and torso): Straws ... be hugged. Rabies ... feels it. (she hugged him 🥹)

A Knight (hat and hair): One step further, and you will be in close contact with Someone's nose... As long as you can hit Someone's head. (how close is Vertin standing to the AK? Or maybe she was looking for an invisible head to pat.)

Mesmer Jr (Hands) :Compared to the incurable anxiety, these wounds are minor. Oh, watch your distance. (smh Vertin not everyone likes being touched.)

Melania (hat and hair): "Well done. Please keep on." ...Aren't you going to say that? (more headpats but Melania needs vocal praise too.)

Lilya

Clothing and torso:  Feel awesome? Now it's my turn to pet you. (...what is Vertin petting? This is clothing and torso but I'm lost.)

Hat and hair: You should be grateful that I am too lazy to move now. Or you should know that the first-class pilot’s got a first-glass head-butt, too. (Vertin taking advantage of the moment to give headpats. I'm telling you, its a THING)

Leilani (Hands): Shaka brah! Ooh! Do you want a handshake or a high-five, my friend? I'm fine with either! (She’s so wholesome)

Cristallo 

hat and hair: Are you patting my head? The doctor says, this is a reward for good children. Have I done something right? 

Hands and sleeves: Would you like to hold my hands? I could be with you anytime. (Cristallo is weak and frail. The nurses say she could be blown away by a gust of wind. Despite this she says she’ll be with Vertin anytime. To me it reads as Vertin being worried Cristallo will disappear too. Cristallo notices so she offers to hold hands and says she will always be here as a way to comfort her.)

Darley Clatter

Hat and Hair:  Oh ... I can't deny you are really good at patting.

Clothing and Torso: Take a look at my beautiful muscles! I don't need to explain how fabulous I am. Hey, watch out! Rub me in the direction my mane grows.

Bonus Intimacy : Adorable? Ahh? You don't even have a taste! (Vertin pets him and calls him adorable. Darley, don’t let the girlies know. They might end your noble bloodline.)

Pavia (Hat and Hair): Wanna know how many holes I've made on others' heads? No? Then stop it. (What possessed her to give Pavia headpats?)

Dikke (hat and hair): Thou art overstepping my boundaries, arcanist. (I’m guessing Vertin is at it again with the headpats. Dikke smiles when she says this so she isn’t offended. If anything, she seems amused. )

Eternity (hands and sleeves): Go on, try holding it, and feel its temperature rising in your hand… Easy, sweetheart… take it easy, heh heh… (more hand holding but Vertin wasn’t prepared this time)

An-an Lee (hands and sleeves): What? You want a palm reading? (Vertin, why are you like this? Are you randomly touching people's hands?)

Regulus (hands and sleeves): What do you want? I don't have any spare scratch. (I'm sure she knows you're broke since she's your boss. Vertin's just being Vertin at this point.)

Vertin leads Regulus by the hand into her Suitcase in the prologue

Blonney (hands): Interesting! It's been a while since I last met someone who would start with holding hands.

She also holds Blonney's hand as she calms her down during the green lake event.

I feel like I should have picked up on this sooner. Gift-giving, hand holding, and headpats. This is the Timekeeper way.

[muppet-facts]

Muppet Fact #568

This year, at the 2022 Game Awards, Animal and Geoff Keighley presented the award for Best Score and Music. During his appearance, Animal exclaimed that he plays Elden Ring, and his favorite boss is Melania. He's also a fan of Hideo Kojima.

Source:

"Animal from the Muppets Joins Geoff Keighley at The Game Awards 2022." Thegameawards. YouTube. December 8, 2022.

[bunchashapes]

@postsforcrabs i'll do ya one better and just answer it publicly under a readmore. so for realsies elden ring dlc spoilers under the cut, don't click unless you've beaten the dlc or at least seen the last boss

so. mechanically. that fight was tough. I don't think I've seen a single person say anything charitable about it beyond "it gets easier if you use a greatshield", which is nooooot great for a fromsoft boss. Even Malenia had SOME people sayin "it's not that bad".

I respect the boss's design in a certain respect, if you're gonna make the for realsies final boss of elden ring, you might as well go whole hog and make it hard as fuck. But I can't remember any time I've seen a soulsborne boss and thought "do i really WANT to beat this guy? like do i wanna spend the time learning it?" In the end i beat it by switching my playstyle to greatshield/halberd, maxing out scadutree and spirit ash levels, and summoning an npc AND spirits (summoning two summons gives him wayyy too much health). I don't think this is necessarily bad on its face but I feel like they almost expected you do that boss with a shield? Which is weird considering how many of the bosses in the game have movesets that challenge your ability to roll perfectly, only to have the final challenge be a moveset that's nearly impossible to roll through safely but REALLY easy to tank with a shield. Didn't you guys make bloodborne super aggressive and dodge-based because you thought too many people were hiding behind their shields in dark souls?

Narrative/thematically speaking, it was Weird and I enjoyed it. I enjoy the dlc-wide subversion of "mohg abducted miquella?? oh noooo 😟" to "oh what the fuck" and the way it all culminates is VERY weird and offputting in a way that would not at all surprise me if it was Martin's idea. There's a lot to piece through with Miquella's decision-making with courting(???) Radahn and abandoning of St Trina and everything. It all lines up with what we knew about him in the base game but it just adds another layer of fucked up-ness. I also really like the description for Radahn's armor revealing what Melania whispered in his ear in the first cinematic trailer! It's all fun stuff to dwell upon in the coming months

[yourpastafarianpriest]

This fight is so fucking bullshit oh my god. Like, what the hell is that fucking second phase. Melania isn't even half as hard as this motherfucker. Get the fucking gay incest duo out of my Elden Ring please, they're making the game too hard. Also, the hit boxes on this guy are waaaaaay too big, they should not be as big as they are. First phase is bad enough with the crazy aggression, ungodly damage, blazing fast attacks, and some near undodgeable moves. Then he gets the fucking twink on his back for the second phase and the bitch ass femboy summons the fucking light of god on your ass. He legit just fucking nukes you. And that's not even mentioning the fact that every goddamn sword swing is followed up by light beams, so you'll have to dodge the swing and the heavenly follow up in quick succession. There's a goddamn reason I leveled up my endurance to like, 50. ALSO, the move where there's like, 10 of him swinging at you one after the other in the fucking anime style multattack, followed by the holy explosion was goddamn unnecessary. Tldr: Fuck this boss with a rusty anchor

[shuunnico]

thoughts on elden ring and sote?

Elden Ring was my first From game. Despite this, I could see a lot of issues with the game from a design standpoint, having at least paid attention to previous Fromsoft games.

Shadow of the Erdtree is just Elden Ring turned up to 11, which exacerbates all the issues from the base game.

For context:

I beat a fresh save without using spirit summons. I only used NPC summons for Bael, Leda, Starscourge and Consort Radahn because of the quests involved.

Used a melee build; using Morning Star in a rush to beat Radahn and Mohg to unlock the DLC and get the Beast Claws, which I kept until the end.

After rushing Mohg (via the quest) and getting the Beast Claws, I went back and ran through the game from Limgrave normally. I beat every dungeon and boss in the game, then beat every boss/dungeon in Shadow of the Erdtree.

I'll mostly keep my comment to combat because, frankly, I could write an entire essay on what I thought of ER and the expansion.

A huge issue is that Fromsoft has been using the same formula since Demon Souls and this formula is stretched to the braking point in Elden Ring.

Because you're so limited in your options in combat, bosses are likewise limited in what they can do within that framework. From's only way to increase the difficulty now is to, essentially, cheat.

This is where all the odd timing, alien movement, arrested momentum and physics defying comes in. Instead of fighting the boss, you're fighting everything you know about character animation, physics and telegraphing.

In many cases, enemies will perform actions that, if you go into the fight blind, will very possibly kill you. Relanna's Twin Moon, Mohg's Nihil, Melania's Waterfowl Dance, etc. They tend to come out of nowhere, aren't intuitive to avoid and deal boatloads of damage that will often kill the player. It's not the player's fault that they get crushed by a move the boss pulls out without any way to possibly respond other than eat a ton of damage.

Then you're fighting to even see some bosses. The combination of the camera and particle effects ends up blinding the player so often. Why From continues to use the limited camera they do and THEN deploys bosses that force the camera to angle up, giving you a wonderful view of your character's ass and nothing else.

My issue with Fromsoft's combat isn't "oh it's too hard" because I got through the game with relative ease, with only a few bosses giving me trouble.

It's that From has started to run out of ways to get a square peg into a round hole. So they opt to start being unfair as a way to artificially inflate the challenge of boss fights, rather than develop a new system that allows for a more broad, fair range of challenge.

If Fromsoft wants to develop action games, they should develop a combat system that fits with an action game. They took a step in the right direction with Sekiro, but that was their most constrained game in the Souls-like fashion, rather than having it open builds like Dark Souls/Bloodborne/Elden Ring.

[posttexasstressdisorder]

SCARMUCCI DROPS SOME MELANIA DIRT!

HATERS GONNA HATE

“I judge the hatred of Donald Trump by the Melania standard,” the former White House communications director said during a podcast appearance Saturday.

Updated Sep. 01, 2024 6:42PM EDT / Published Sep. 01, 2024 12:06PM EDT 

Brendan McDermid/Reuters

Anthony Scaramucci has claimed that Melania Trump wants Kamala Harris to win the 2024 presidential election, and that she “hates” her husband.

The former White House communications director recycled allegations that the former first lady is not keen on four more years in the White House during an interview with the MeidasTouch podcast over the weekend.

Claiming Melania “is tired of all this nonsense,” Scaramucci said of the 2024 presidential campaign,.“Nobody wants (Kamala Harris) to win more than me—maybe Melania Trump, that could be the only person I can think of.”

“I judge hatred of Donald Trump by the Melania standard,” he continued, adding that he could only think of one person (who he named as General Mark Milley, appointed by Trump as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff in 2019) whose apparent hatred for the former president surpasses that of his wife.

Scaramucci’s hyperbolic claims come nearly two months after Melania Trump was last seen with her husband, having made a one-night-only cameo at the Republican National Convention in July.

Scaramucci’s tenure in the Trump administration lasted a historic 11 days, amid a period of particular turnover and upheaval.

“The Mooch,” who has since left the GOP and supported President Biden’s campaign in 2020, has become a vocal critic of his former boss.

The comments come following a Friday interview when Scaramucci called out Trump’s “contradictory” comments on abortion, claiming Trump knows “he’s in trouble.”

“He’s done a very good job of the last nine years of saying two contradictory things at the exact same time and giving enough food for everybody at the table,” Scaramucci told Alex Marquardt on CNN’s The Situation Room.

[behindthesemasks]

20

Chapter 19

Gabe is on a mission...and he has one destination...

It seemed to take Gabe an hour to drive from the original hotel to the one that Mel and the others had now holed up in. After circling a few different blocks, he found a parking garage without surveillance to leave the SUV in and texted Mel that he was on the way up. That was when he turned his phone off and headed down to the street below, to walk the remaining way to the hotel. No doubt Ambrose would be making sure that the GPS trackers on the SUVs were being watched and trying to triangulate their locations by their phones.  While he would be able to find the SUV Gabe had driven, where he’d gone when he’d left the garage would be something that would take him longer to figure out.  The fact that all the others with Melania had also turned off their phones indicated that they too had thought of this.  

It was after 2 AM and there were no other people or vehicles in the area.  The area appeared deserted, although he could see lights behind curtains on the floors above street level.  Even if there were surveillance cameras in some of the shops and buildings he was passing, Gabe had turned up his collar to make it hard to see his face. One more step in making it harder for Ambrose to track them down.  There were only four blocks he had to navigate, but he was hoping to keep to the shadows and make the trek as quickly as possible.  He had been trusted not to give away their location.

Fifteen minutes after he’d stepped onto the street, he walked into the hotel lobby. It was bright and filled with old-world elegance. Marble floors, ornate furniture, and live flowers on every table; this was not your budget hotel. Bypassing the front desk, much to the interest of the desk clerk, Gabe headed straight for the elevators. He knew the room number and wanted to waste no time hanging out in areas where he could attract attention. Now he knew he had been on camera, but there was no way that the others could have made it up to the room without being recorded as well. Hopefully, there wasn’t a way to back door into the hotel’s security system.  He knew the type of men Ambrose hired, and if there was, they’d do it.

When he’d finally made it up to the room, he could hear laughing inside. Obviously, even if Mel had been tired, she hadn’t fallen asleep just yet. He knocked on the door and found himself yanked inside when the door cracked open. Facing him were Mel, Alexander, and Cade all sitting on the couch with bottles of wine, gin, whiskey, and scotch on the table in front of them. Judging from their demeanor, they had all enjoyed some while waiting for him.

“Feeling more relaxed?” Gabe asked with a bemused smirk as Dez headed back over to the chair he’d been sitting in.

Mel was on her feet and on the way over to him before he could finish asking the question. “I am now, you finally made it!” Her arms wrapped around him and her face was buried in his chest.

Instinctively his arms went around her and he held her in close. Only now did he notice the slight tremor in her body. His eyes looked questioningly at Alexander and Cade. What the hell was going on?

“She tried to sleep; needless to say some things cause horrible nightmares,” Alexander answered the silent question that hung in the air. “So, we decided to drown her in booze.” His hand gestured to all of the bottles on the table.

“Did you know she has five fake identities in her purse? They’re complete with driver’s licenses, passports, and credit cards. FIVE. Do you think the boss will let us keep her?” Dez had obviously had too much whiskey, but he did get a half-chuckle out of Gabe.

“She’s not a fucking pet asshole. And no, I doubt Ambrose would allow us to take her on missions. Although you would have been proud Gabe, the girl intimidated the ever-loving hell outta the front desk clerk that was here when we got in. I think he may have wet himself.” Alexander chuckled as he poured himself some more scotch. 

Cade moved over to one of the chairs, stretching his long legs out to rest atop the coffee table, as Mel and Gabe moved to sit on the couch. Mel was still all but trembling and Alexander put his arm around her shoulders when she sat down. He looked over at Gabe with an expression that said he was worried about her, but that it wasn’t the time or place to say anything. Gabe nodded, this wasn’t a great situation.

“If you guys want to go back to the other hotel, I’ll understand.” Mel’s voice was soft and quiet, hardly the woman any of them had seen earlier in the day at the hotel. 

“I don’t know about the other boys, but I was hired to keep your ass safe while you were here. I don’t see how I’d be doing that if I left you here. If Ambrose decides to take the money back…I’m not worried.” Cade was the first to answer. There was no hesitation or doubt in his voice as he looked over at her with a slight cocky smirk on his face, and then gave her a wink.

“I think my boy said it well enough. If I was doubting, I wouldn’t have shown up beautiful.” Gabe used two fingers under her chin to turn her face towards him, then kissed her forehead.

“I was never here just because of a job from Ambrose,” Alexander added, causing Mel to look over at him with affection. He really was like a big brother, and just as protective. 

“Fuck, if I wanted to go back, I wouldn’t have driven that damned SUV all the way out to the airport and had to take a cab back.” Dez laughed, winking over at her. 

“If your money is taken back, I’ll still pay you,” Mel said softly, even as she knew that didn’t seem to be a concern for any of them. When Cade started to object, since he was the one who had mentioned money, she added, “I’m worth more than Nic now that my parents are dead. And it means nothing to me.” Cade reached over and squeezed her fingers. Damn, the girl was stronger than she looked, both inside and outside.

“That reminds me, how the hell did you guys get here from the coffee shop? It’s quite a hike.” Gabe asked as his hand took Mel’s to keep hers from shaking. “And did you leave all the weapons out at the airport? Really?” He looked over at Dez.

“She has a Porsche SUV bro. A FUCKING PORSCHE.” Cade laughed. “And all the weapons are in the back safely in their cases. Well, except for the two cases that have the tracking devices in them. They’re at the airport along with the SUV, just no weapons in them.” He laughed. They had swept everything that they transferred between vehicles. There had been no tracing devices in any of it. All of them, knowing Nic and Ambrose, didn’t want to take any chances. 

Gabe nodded as he saw Mel’s head starting to nod. “I think it’s bedtime for you before you fall asleep on Alexander and me, then we’re pinned to the couch all night.” She laughed as he helped her up and to the bedroom on the right side of the small living room that had two beds in it. There was a bedroom on the other side that had two beds in it as well. He helped Mel off with her hiking boots and up onto the bed. Exhaustion, emotions, and the liquor were starting to have a strong effect on her. 

Alexander came in behind them, kicking off his shoes and flopping on the other bed in the room. “I’m taking this one, Dez snores when he’s drunk. You can have one of the beds in the room across the living room. Cade is going to take the first watch for the next few hours.” His words were slightly slurred as he was obviously drifting off to sleep.

Gabe looked down at Mel who was starting to drift off. He leaned over to place a kiss on her forehead. How could Klaus have been such an idiot as to not listen and just hang up on her? Furthermore, how was Erik an even bigger idiot for what he’d done? She was a woman who proved she wasn’t afraid and could be just as fierce as they could. Shaking his head, he began to back up.

Gorgeous blue eyes cracked open and looked up at him. “Don’t go yet, just sit here till I fall asleep? Please?” The look in her tired eyes tore at him. Damn it if he wasn’t a sucker for a damsel in distress. He saw Alexander chuckle as he rolled over, giving him a thumbs up as he did. Sitting down on the bed next to where she was lying, he took her hand in his and leaned back against the headboard. He prayed the next day wouldn’t be nearly as long or as sideways as the previous 24 hours had been. 

Soon Gabe felt his head starting to drop. He started to move off of the bed but looked down at his fingers intertwined with hers and changed his mind. Instead, he slipped down to lay flat on his back next to her. A soft smile formed on his lips as he felt her move closer to him and he drifted off to sleep. Fuck what any of the rest of them thought, Klaus may have promised to keep her safe but he was actually going to do it.

Just over three hours later, the soft click of the lock on the door to the suite signaled that someone was coming in. A lone figure slipped through the barely cracked door, carefully closing it behind him. The feel of a gun barrel at his temple told him instantly that his entry had not gone undetected. As he waited to find out who it was that had gotten guard duty, a slow smirk crossed his lips.

“You’d better have one damn good excuse for being in here asshole, because if you don’t you’re going to wish you had never opened that door.” The end of the barrel pressed more firmly into his skull as he heard Cade’s voice low and growling.

“Seeing as my grandfather is paying your fucking ass, I think I have a good enough excuse to come in if I want. Although how the fuck you all got here is something I’ve got to hear.” Nic’s quiet voice held amusement. It had taken him what seemed like forever to even find a clue where any of them had gone.

“Shit bro, you’re lucky I asked questions first. How the fuck did you find us?” Cade holstered his weapon and moved closer to Nic so that they’re voices wouldn’t wake the other four up.

“Gabe parked his SUV four blocks away. When he stopped answering his phone, I went hunting.” Nic shook his head. “Y’all were fucking hard as hell to find. One female with three bodyguards does make an impression on a desk clerk though.” He chuckled. “Two rooms? Who’s where?”

“Dez is over there. The door is closed because his snoring was about to drive me insane. Alexander, Mel, and Gabe are all over there.” Cade gestured as he talked. He had sobered up an hour or so before and was now annoyingly clear-headed and awake, albeit with a massive headache.

“You know how she got out? And how did you end up here with your SUV at the airport?” Nic looked over at Cade as he leaned his back against the wall.

“Window in your grandfather’s office in the suite, along the ledge to the fire escape that was one room over, then down to the alleyway. Then she just walked until she got to a coffee shop. From there she rented the car and got ahold of Gabe. Gabe texted us. We met up with her at the coffee shop. When she got tired, Dez took the SUV to the airport and got a cab back here with the cash she gave him. We had already transferred all the weapons into the back of her SUV, so it was safe for him to leave it. Then she drove us here. She was the lead the whole time bro, organized the whole damn thing. Did you know she has five false identities?” Cade almost laughed as he talked.

“More than five, and yes I did. Although apparently, grandfather’s men have made some new ones because I couldn’t find a trace of the old ones. I only got the key up here because I scared the desk clerk more than the rest of you did.” Nic answered, pausing for a moment. “I wasn’t here. Understand? Tell none of them. She’s safe, you’re all alive. That’s all I cared about. I’ll keep grandfather off your asses, but you’re going to have to show up eventually. Let me know when you are and I’ll buffer the reception.”

Cade looked over at Nic with a newfound respect. He had expected to get dressed down for going off grid and helping Mel, not that he cared, but he hadn’t expected Nic to cover for their asses. Not that he was going to turn it down. “Never saw ya bro. I gotta ask though….how insane have Ambrose and Klaus gone?” 

“Grandfather is convinced one or more of you are with Mel. This Oglesby though, he’s a major player and violent and vicious. He’d kill Mel if it gave him a tactical advantage with grandfather and Alexander, so I wouldn’t say he’s exactly calm.” Nic looked over in the dim light of the room, the expression on his face clear to Cade. Nic was worried. Ambrose was worried. The main thing was not to let this asshole know that Alexander and Mel were in the same place.

“Klaus is a mess. I don’t know if Gabe told you but he damn near shattered Erik’s jaw. Grandfather had to fly in a medic to at least set it enough for the moment so that he wasn’t in so much pain he couldn’t think. He also broke his cheekbone and gave him a concussion. The doc thinks Erik may have a couple of broken ribs too. That was from less than a half-dozen punches. I think that Erik’s lucky that the blow to the throat didn’t crush his windpipe. Erik is having to use the laptop to type out his answers to questions at the moment. Although threats of letting Klaus back in the room are more effective than anything in getting his cooperation.” He saw Cade’s eyes go wide in the gloom and nodded. “So I think that tells you how he’s doing. He’s no less upset now than he was when he about knocked me and grandfather over to get to Erik. We’ve had to keep Klaus separated from grandfather, they do nothing but butt heads because Klaus is being kept in the hotel and not out looking for Mel. They’re going to end up shooting one another if they’re left alone too long.” Nic sighed. “ That she hasn’t called or contacted him is driving him out of his mind. He’s like a caged lion. So yeah.” Nic shook his head lightly. He felt for the other man, truly he did. There was just nothing that could be done at the moment to make the situation better without pissing off his cousin. Klaus had made his own bed when he hung up on her, he’d just have to lie in it a bit longer.

“Sounds like you’ve got your hands full bro. But hey, you think in the future we could get the short chick to come with us on missions?” Cade tried to lighten the mood. “She’s good; I mean she’s damn good. She put the fear of God in Andreas, she slipped out of a locked room and had you chasing your tail, and she can pull off a cover identity as well as any of us. We could use her.” 

“I take it you want to have Ambrose committed to the lunatic asylum. He would go all kinds of batshit crazy.” Nic laughed. He had to admit, she might have picked up too much over the years from being around him and their grandfather. “Now, before any of them wake up, or I’m out of contact for too long and they start checking up on me…I’m getting my ass out of here. You need anything…ANYTHING…you call ME, no one else.”

“Got it, bro. Be careful, if there could be a target on Mel’s back from this Oglesby, there could be one on yours too. We’ll keep her safe, don’t worry.” Cade nodded once toward Nic. They were friends, more like brothers, and as much as he would guard Mel’s ass, he’d guard Nic’s back as well.

With that Nic slipped out of the room as almost silently as he slipped in. Now he knew that his cousin was safe, it was time to hunt Oglesby.

banner from @cafekitsune

[nicki0kaye]

i have been losing my mind over the Elden Ring DLC since it came out.

Spoilers under the cut, but if you're afraid of the hard bosses? Don't worry, you genuinely don't have to beat shit to unlock the entire map. You just have to be a curious lil guy willing to wall-hug and parkor your way to every fuckin inch of the Lands of Shadow

Anyway, time to screm;

MIQUELLA IS SUCH A PIECE OF TRASH

Like not only did he use Mohg and defile his corpse, he abandoned his feminine aspect St. Trina, abandoned Melania and everyone else at the Haligtree AND all of the NPCs who pledged themselves to resurrecting Godwyn for him, bc he used his one 'resurrect whoever you want' card on Radahn instead of Godwyn. When you fight him he will literally have Radahn bear hug you so he can whisper sweet nothings into your ear and steal your fucking heart, I'm BEYOND myself, I am FERAL for how fucked up this is. WHAT A HORRIBLE LIL PREPUBECENT PIECE OF SHIT!!! I'm--I cannot believe--this shit so good.

I feel so bad for the Mohg fangirls, they are at once vindicated and fucking devastated. Absolutely unfair. Mohg deserved so much better.

also fuckin Messmer ends up being almost accidentaL in the DLC that was SOLD off his hot back. If you didnt need his fire to burn all the shadow away, you wouldn't even have to fight him to finish the dang story! Redheaded stepchild right to the fucking eND

[modkandmodc]

Reverse: 1999 Moxie Training [Hard] "Tutorial"

So I was playing the game as usual and I tried clearing the Moxie training on hard... it was hard. Like, actually. Then I finally realized what I should do lol, so here's something for people who might need it.

Round 1: use all of X and TTT's incantations (XI) (TI) to up their moxie quickly.

Round 2: If Melania's Silent takedown (ST) or Click's The witness (TW) doesn't appear in the new cards batch, restart the stage until you get one of them in the new restarts 2nd round batch. Otherwise, merge the incantation to get a 2☆ one and use it on the big critter. Fill the other two APs with XI and TI.

Round 3: If you don't have another ST or TW to lower the moxie, restart the stage unless by some stroke of luck you have X's Ultimate (XU) ready. Otherwise use ST/TW/XU on the boss. For the rest just fill with XI and TI.

For the next rounds, just focus on getting X and TTT's Ultimates ready before the enemies. Use 2☆ ST and 2☆ TW occasionally.

Personal Tips:

Use X's Ultimate and TTT's ultimate in the same round, with X's Ultimate going first. This'll keep you safe for 2 rounds, so if you cast both in round 4, then you should be able to barely use both again in round 6 with some merging.

Use Tuning. It seriously helps. If you have First Melody set, (which I recommend for this stage) then the first incantation is a lifesaver when you only have 1☆ ST and 1☆ TW, and the second also helps if you're stuck with bad incantations. Grand Orchestra can also help, but it's not my first choice. The first one basically functions like First Melody's first, just more expensive. And if you happen to need juuuuust one more move to merge X/TTT's incantations to a 3☆ one and get 2 moxie for basically free, the 2nd incantation will come in handy. But all in all, my recommendation is still First Melody.

Last and general tip, but moving incantations and merging them once in the same move gives 2 moxie instead of just one. I really recommend utilizing this a lot for this stage since it helps speed up X and TTT's moxie gathering.

This stage was really RNG-based and I HATE IT lmao. Still, I was bored and content is content ig lol

[originalleftist]

Do you know why we keep losing? Do you know why fascists keep winning?

Because fascism is an easy sell.

Because deep down (or not so deep down) in most peoples' minds is a nasty little bully with resentments (justified or imagined) toward the world, and fear, and anger. Who wants to be big, and special, and part of a special group. And who is just looking for an "acceptable target" that it's safe to bully and use hate speech against without worrying about being "politically correct" or being "cancelled" or, worst of all, having to actually make the effort to care about how your actions affect other people.

And along come the fascists and they tell you "Yes, there are people out to get you, who are to blame for everything wrong in the world, and this is who they are, and it's okay to be selfish and cruel toward them, because they're not real people and they deserve it, and in fact you'll have a whole crowd at your back cheering you on."

And that's a damn appealing message, and it's something that fascism can actually deliver on, even if it can't deliver on anything else.

Telling people to actually make the effort to question their prejudices, and think about the consequences of their actions, and put others on at least an equal footing with themselves? That's a hard sell. It goes against a lot of our instincts, and is a much less appealing message to a lot of people.

And every time we try to put together some kind of progressive movement, the fascists come in and take it over, create an in-group and an Out-Group (or more than one), pit them against each other, and divide and conquer.

Feminism? Here come the fascists to tell you that no, it's not patriarchy that's the enemy, it's those evil trans people! Oh, and don't forget to lock up the sex workers too, for their own good of course.

Queer Rights? Same as above.

Workers' Rights? Blame the immigrants, the foreigners, "DEI", the poor. It's THEIR fault you don't have a job, or a better one. Not the rich bosses, certainly.

Cost of living? It's them dirty poors, taking all your money. And the immigrants again too, of course.

Anti-Imperialist/Anti-Racism? Don't focus on addressing systemic white supremacy, no, it's really the Jews who are the real colonizers! Also, you better support Russia's genocidal invasion of Ukraine because it's against "the West", so it can't possibly be imperialist!

And on and on and on.

And, it's not just Tankie types who fall for this shit. I can't tell you how many supposedly liberal Democrats I've seen who, presented with a myriad of things they could and should condemn fascists for, can't seem to help but fall back on attacks based on (real or imagined) membership in some marginalized group.

Elon Musk? He should be deported, because he's a dirty immigrant!

Boebert/Marjorie Taylor Greene/Melania/etc? Sl*t shame them!

P01135809? Go after his age, weight, and incontinence! Nothing ageist or ableist about that! Definitely these are the most relevant issues to attack him on, and not just hurting a bunch of other people by making their identity into a gotcha.

And of course the ever-popular "insinuate x conservative politician is gay/depict him kissing a man/depict him in a dress". Because using being gay or trans or a crossdresser as a put-down or punchline is A-okay if you're doing it to a bad person!

Hell, I've done some of these before. We probably nearly all have. And that's the thing- our instincts, reinforced by our social training, default toward group condemnation, dehumanization, and bullying.

And as long as that's the case- as long as bigotry and cruelty are fun, as long as we find it easier to judge people by their identity and not their actions, as long as we accept the view that some people have forfeited personhood and the basic rights that come with it- then fascism is an easier sell than democracy.